Can empathy actually be trained?
I think empathy is one of the most critical skills—not only as a leader, but as a person.
For me, empathy isn't being nice all the time or always saying yes. It's this: you see the person behind the situation — and you can feel with them.
I started wondering about training this ability with my kids.
We have a dinner routine where everyone tells the family about their day. But last week, I changed one small thing:
Instead of everyone just telling their story, now they had to ask everyone one question.
My teenage son doesn't know what to ask. He'd rather be in his room. 😄
So I give him a hint: "What do you think was the most interesting thing your mom did all the day?" Then: "Okay. What could you ask me about that?"
It worked. He thought some seconds and asked how my GoFundMe project works. After I told him that we had progress, the YouTube video was online and people started to share and support. He said to me good job mom.
And that made me think:
Maybe empathy isn't something we either have or don't have.
Maybe, at least partly, it's a muscle we can practice.
At work, that might mean asking one more question before judging someone's reaction.
At home, it might mean teaching our children to be curious about another person's experience.
I'm still not sure how much empathy can actually be learned.
What's your experience? Can empathy be trained?
This is part of my "100 Days of Year One" series. Follow along as I share what I've learned in my first year as Head of Data and Cloud.